There are a million reasons as to why you may have won, though all of them have nothing to do with your own ability as a deck-builder and/or pilot. Here, we go over the top reasons why you shouldn’t be proud of your accomplishments because you didn’t win, your opponent lost.
Remember, the only reason you won is because…
…I flooded
…I missed my land drops.
…you just waited to counter my combo.
…you spent more on your deck.
…you top-decked better.
…you net-deck since you can’t build a real deck on your own.
…I didn’t draw my ‘X’ card.
…I missed a trigger ‘X’ turns ago.
…I forgot those tea candles represented creature tokens.
…you’re playing ‘card x’ that should be banned.
…your card sleeves match your playmat so your foretold card became invisible.
…the judge awarded you the win because this isn’t the internet and my toxic comments have no anonymity.