Top 10 Excuses to Continue Avoiding In-Person Magic: The Gathering After COVID, Anxiety-Ridden Edition

The pandemic was difficult for people all over the globe. Now that we’re finally able to resume a somewhat normal life, many MTG players are rejoicing. With the announcement of a return to in-person Magic: The Gathering, players are now flocking to LGS and events like Command Fest have returned. Cubes are being dusted off and draft pods are full once again.

Not everyone shares the enthusiasm, however. Some of us would prefer nothing more than to pretend those lockdowns are still trapping us indoors like the sweet relief of a weighted blanket. Though now that our foolproof excuse to avoid social interaction is no longer valid, we’re going to need to find new reasons to avoid other people without seeming like we’re weird or something.

Here you’ll find the top 10 excuses for why that pre-release just isn’t your thing, despite your intention to buy a pre-release pack, then wish you had someone to jam some sealed with.

10. I’m going to be the only one to see that thing outside of the window, no one will believe me and think I’m crazy.

9. What’s the worst thing that could happen? Because that’s going to happen.

8. I could get lost on the way there. Maybe there will be no parking and I’ve wasted my time. Maybe I’ll get lost on the way home too.

7. I’m going to be the odd number of people to show up, giving someone a bye. They’re going to hate me.

6. Someone holding a black lotus hostage in a hole punch will rob me. It’s happened before.

5. Teferi might show up, mess with time, and ruin my Elden Ring save.

4. The Warhammer players will make fun of me for liking Magic. Always judging…

3. I’m going to be the one who smells: BO, breath, the works. Everyone is going to secretly nickname me something horrible like Smelldrazi.

2. Andrew Garfield himself is going to show up, declare me the worst magic player ever to have lived, and ban me from ever attending an event again. No, not Richard Garfield. Spiderman.

1. Someone might try to talk to me.

Using any one of these excuses will let you off the hook to avoid all these horrifying outcomes, allowing you to stay cuddled in your warm, safe space. Will these things happen? Technically speaking they could but it’s extremely doubtful. (Except the Teferi thing. That happened to us. 8 hours of progress gone).

Living in a fog where participating in “normal social interactions” are difficult for those of us with anxiety. Our stupid brains won’t stop instigating worst-case scenarios to then mull over on repeat. Our reasoning at times may seem either trivial or irrational and difficult for others to understand. It’s very real and very debilitating at times.

However, if you ever feel like getting out of the house and think your mental health will benefit from stepping out of your comfort zone, an in person event at your LGS is a great way to spend an evening. If it’s too much, we get it, but you might end up having a blast and make new friends who share a love of your hobby. Either way, you can be proud that you tried.

Just watch out for the guy with the black lotus in a hole punch, he’s still very much at large.

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