People almost never ask Pauper Jumpstart for our opinions on new Magic: The Gathering products and who can blame them? Though, in the spirit of ignoring mean internet comments I decided to provide our own review on the latest expansion, Dominatrix Untied, but were unable to complete it since the cards in it were not even close to what I expected.
I mean I should have known they would screw it up when I saw the title. Who ties up a dom? Maybe this was some attempt at a deep philosophical statement on righting a wrong which also felt way off-kilter, but figured I’d give Wizards of the Coast the benefit of the doubt.
Honestly, I was more than excited at the prospect of an expansion actually doing something risky. So far, the biggest gamble they took in recent years was introducing cyberpunk ninjas from Kamigawa which ended up being a big hit. So, when I heard they were off to explore and pay homage to something so taboo I became excited about all the doors it could open. Why not make product for the 18+ audience? I imagine that’s the vast majority of their demographic. And yes, I get they are owned by Hasbro, but Disney owns Marvel and their R rated films have been successful.
Either way, I wanted to be one of the first in line at the pre-release so I could take in as many new cards as I could and report my findings and spoil some great stuff for my dozens of followers. Sadly, my suspicions were validated when we got our first look at the pre-release.
I went around to different tables looking for cards mechanically themed after BDSM and couldn’t find any debauchery whatsoever. Also, it turns out the pre-release wasn’t even a first look at the new set! Someone pointed us to the full set spoiler online. Additionally, despite not being able to use the paper cards until next week, everyone had already been playing with the whole expansion online. Pre-release huh? We’re starting to get the feeling that Wizards of the Coast doesn’t understand the meaning behind the words they use.
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omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.
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