Rule 0 Discussion Thoroughly Outlines Procedure for Pod’s Communal Egg Salad

Friends all holding egg salad

MADISON, Wis. — A local pod’s pre-game rule 0 discussion has completed, thoroughly outlining the procedure for the groups shared egg salad, sources grossed out by eggs mixed with mayonnaise confirmed.

“Our weekly Commander get-togethers have been a lot better since we started taking turns brining a dish for the group to share,” said stax player Mandy Wilkinson. However, certain dishes like my delicious egg salad are not conducive for a table being used for commander. There isn’t space for much other than the bowl of egg salad which we’re placing in the middle.

“During our rule 0 discussion I suggested everyone eat from the quarter closest to them. Becky thought that was gross and wanted to use appetizer plates. I reminded her that there wasn’t really space for a bowl and four plates.”

“Egg Salad is one of things that’s just gross to share out of the same bowl,” Becky retorted. “It’s not like nachos or popcorn. Those are socially acceptable communal share situations. Egg salad though? It makes that squishing sound whenever you touch it. In fact, the more I think about it the sicker I feel. Eggs and mayo? If you sat down for breakfast and someone started spreading mayo on their eggs, you’d probably ask what’s wrong with them. If they want to eat egg salad like they’re feeding from a troth be my guest. If I choose to have any it’s going to be on a plate.”

“I agree with Mandy that plates are going to get in the way,” said merfolk tribal player Sherman Meeks. “But I also agree with Becky that sharing out of a communal bowl isn’t a good idea either. You must consider the distance between bowl and mouth. The wider the gap the greater the possibility of fork spillage before it hits your face hole. Have you ever tried to clean egg salad off a playmat? The fact that we’re even discussing this is cringe inducing. No wonder people keep calling us ‘fucking nerds’. I suggested the community egg salad should be passed around so that we can each take turns eating directly from the bowl.”

“Leave it up to Sherman to suggest the most disgusting solution. Not surprised. Who in their right mind would eat over a communal bowl of egg salad? Yes, we’d all love it if bits of egg salad fell out of your mouth and into the bowl. Fucking Sherman. Honestly, I’d like to throw that nasty bowl of farts mixed with mayo into the trash can and just play Commander. It was the same thing with the green bean casserole last week! There was a big fight because Sherman decided to eat all the crispy onions on top. That’s the best part! Honestly, the idea was nice, but it’s cutting into our play time. And just for the record my cards are double sleeved so I’m just going to use my commander to scoop the egg salad out of the bowl. I never miss an opportunity to give my favorite commanders a good lick without looking like a complete weirdo.”

omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

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