Pitch for Raid: Shadow Legends Somehow Ended Up On the Stack

During a friendly game of commander, a pivotal moment was interrupted when, somehow, a five-minute pitch for the game Raid: Shadow Legends ended up on the stack.

“I’m not even sure how it got there. As far as I know, there are no spells in Magic: The Gathering allowing a player to pause the game to shill for another. And yet, after Brett cast a board wipe a five-minute pitch for that awful gacha game Raid: Shadow Legends somehow ended up on the stack. I expect to hear nonsense like that when I’m watching Twitch, or a YouTube video, not when I’m playing paper Magic with friends.”


Calls from the playgroup to skip the shilling were put forth, but ultimately, the rules of the game required players to endure.

“Nobody wanted to listen that garbage. I made the point that since we were playing paper, we could just declare that the pitch resolves and everyone “hears” it, without actually going through the motions. But Dan insisted we had to follow the text on the spell, otherwise the rest of us could ignore text we didn’t like on other spells later in the game. He had a point, but I’d rather nail my fingers to my playmat than listen to a pitch for Raid: Shadow Legends.”

John Daltrey was the only one able to do anything about the group’s impending nightmare, resulting in a difficult choice.

“It turns out I was the only one with a counterspell in hand. I could have easily countered the pitch for Raid: Shadow Legends, but then the board wipe would resolve and basically win the game for Brett. I tried to politick my way into a deal to forgo to the pitch from happening but knowing he would win if his board wipe resolved, Brett declined. In the end, we had to listen to the whole five-minute pitch. It sucked. Do you know how long five-minutes is when you’re listening to someone talk about Raid: Shadow Legends?”

In addition to the verbal pitch, a video of someone failing an unrelated puzzle with an obvious solution enraged the group, resulting in everyone downloading the game and signing-in.

omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

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