Deck Constructed Entirely of Old Border Foils Doesn’t Alleviate Existential Despair As Expected

INTERCOURSE, PA — “There was a time,” Bill Henderson, told us when we sat down with him on Tuesday, “when foils actually meant something. Nowadays they’re everywhere. I think my mind was set on the old days when I decided to build it.”

Bill Henderson was a man on a mission. His Legacy deck, the same one he’d been playing for over a decade, was to be rebuilt using old-border foils. “It was kind of fun at first,” Bill said, “checking the prices and getting what I could, piece by piece. Card by card.”

In total, Bill spent a total of four years and thousands of dollars obtaining all the cards he needed to complete his dream. “As I drew closer to the end,” Bill went on, “I started to panic. What was I doing? Why was I spending so much time and money on a card game? I wondered if I had.”

The answer to Bill’s concerns was soon answered.

“The first event I went to after completing it was a real shock. Only one opponent the entire night asked if my deck was completely foiled. When I explained the journey involved they said, ‘cool’. That was it. I went home 0-3. Turns out people just play a bunch of new cards I’ve never heard of.” BIll, visibly upset, continued. “When I got home I realized my new deck was the same deck I’ve always had. I don’t know why I thought anything would be different. I honestly don’t even know what the point of it was.”

We asked some other attendees of the event what they thought about Bill’s new deck, and the story behind it. “That’s some sad boomer shit,” one person commented.

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