Man Unable to Stop MTG Arena’s Rope Timer From Burning Away Under Blind Date

Girl bored with countdown timer to end things

Dating is hard. Getting to the point where you actually have a date is difficult enough, but once you’re there getting the other person to like you is a whole other story. Especially if you’re Chad Johnson. A recent blind date of Johnson’s went from meh to awful when nothing he would say could stop MTG Arena’s rope timer from burning under her.

“We exchanged a few texts online before meeting up,” Danica Obrien, Chad’s date said. “He seemed sweet and genuine and asked me a lot about myself. Compared to a lot of the disgusting texts I get on dating apps he was a 10 and even nice on the eyes. So I figured I’d give him a shot.”

Turns out, Johnson had given his married friend his phone during the initial exchanges between Obrien and himself.

“I was asking her questions, like if she spits, and if it’s shaved, and if we’re gonna go do it later, and she was kind of just giving one-word answers,” Johnson said, shaking his head. “That’s when I saw the rope timer pop up and start to sizzle. I only had one time-out left and had to act fast.”

Obrien, while not entirely surprised at her blind date’s behavior, was disappointed.

“Though he matched the pictures, this guy wasn’t the guy I was texting with. Whoever this Chad guy was acted like he was in a porn’s opening scene. He had agreed to pay for the meal and I was hungry, so I kind of just sat there and listened to the idiot ruin every chance he had in silence, hoping the eggs benedict I ordered were worth it. Just to be sure we were both clear on what was happening I did display my MTG Arena rope timer.”


Panicked, Johnson resorted to the only tactic he knew, trying tell her how she was being a dumb whore to show her how nice of a guy he was. As she left it was reported that other patrons began repeatedly yelling “Oops!” and “Good Game” at Johnson.

omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

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