‘No More New Decks’ Declaration Ruined by Sick New Color of Dragon Shield Sleeves

DURHAM, N.C. — A local man recently declared they would abstain from building new decks. However, it was later recanted due to the discovery of a sick new color of Dragon Shield sleeves.

“I really like building decks,” Randall Crawford said. “A little too much. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. A new brew will make its rounds on Twitch. A new legendary creature needs a commander deck. Ordered before I have time to think. I posted my collection on reddit recently, but people thought it was a cry for help. I don’t think they were too off target either. My mail carrier somehow became the godmother of my two kids for instance.”

Crawford knew he had to change but hadn’t yet hit rock bottom.

“I promised my wife I was done buying new cards and building new decks. She has always been supportive of my hobbies but has her limits. After I removed family photos to make space for deck boxes, she had enough. We came to a compromise and bought a bookshelf to keep my decks in one place, but it reached capacity soon after. I still had excess decks needing space. This provided the moment of self-reflection I required to acknowledge the need for change.

Crawford kept to his promise. Though two months later temptation overtook him at Friday Night Magic.

“We’d just finished drafting and players were finishing deck construction. Someone mentioned they had purchased a new color of Dragon Shields as they began to sleeve. It was the most gorgeous shade of copper I’d ever seen. I ordered those sleeves on Amazon before I realized my phone was in my hand.

“I don’t remember much after that. Suddenly, I was in the alley behind the LGS staring at an order confirmation for a new deck from Card Kingdom. There was a fictitious name for the order, but the address was mine. Maybe my subconscious thought we could fool my wife if we said they shipped the cards to the wrong address. Of course, lying to my wife feels wrong, but not having a deck with those sweet new sleeves feels way worse.”

We asked Crawford if swapping the new sleeves on an existing deck would have been easier. He paused for long while and said it was the “Dumbest thing he’s ever heard.”

omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

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