What to Do When The Person in Your Playgroup Wearing A Josh Lee Kwai Mask Starts Narrating Plays To An Invisible Camera

  1. Be Cool – your first experience with a JLK can be unnerving, so it’s best to keep calm, cool, and collected. Maintaining your own sanity becomes crucial as to not break JLK’s delusion so, above all else, be cool.
  2. Find a stick – knighting the JLK sets the tone for the rest of the experience and almost guarantees no fourth walls will be broken. As such, it is the first and most important step. Obviously you may not have mall ninja swords at your disposal, however a broom or mop handle works just as well. If you’re in one of those LGSs that doesn’t have access to cleaning supplies you can keep your arm straight as possible and knight the JLK that way.
  3. Announce your commander’s name clearly to the ‘camera’, then explain your deck’s game plan – Making sure the “audience” knows who your commander is and how they interact with the rest of your deck helps maintain the atmosphere. Comment on the other commanders and how you expect to leverage a win playing against them. End your monologue with hope, not certainty.
  4. When masked JLK makes/attempts a joke, laugh in the background whether it’s funny or not – this helps keep the energy of the game as lighthearted as possible, and exudes “fun” no matter if it’s being had or not. Your JLK may look around, holding their arms up at their side, palms facing upward. This is a sign they’re looking for approval and should always be a met with laughter.
  5. Be sure to exclaim loudly on pivotal turns/plays – even if you’re extremely uncomfortable (and trust us, you will be) its beneficial to engage with the game in a positive, nearly over-enthusiastic manner. This will heighten the sense of urgency and reaffirm the high stakes of the outcome (despite their being none, other than ending the game and being able to escape unharmed).
  6. When your health reaches zero, or you lose, be sure to animate your death, freezing at the end – This nearly seals it for everyone. Be clever and add your own flair. Eyes rolling back and tongue out is a popular one, but creativity is lauded. Once you’ve been eliminated from the pod you are now, for all intents and purposes, dead to the JLK and are free to exit the facility in a quick, but calm manner to then take to MTG twitter to tell your followers “how much fun” you had.

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