When the MTG Arena Steam launch was announced fans of the F2P digital client rejoiced. A brand-new platform will soon be available for players to inundate with negative reviews and toxic comments about their favorite game.
“Unfortunately, we’ve reached peak salt on the subreddit, r/magicarena. Those of us who can’t go for more than a few days without taking to the internet to voice our disdain for Magic Arena are struggling to find a place. Usually whenever Wizards of the Coast makes bad choices, the subreddit is quick to pass out batons to start whacking the horse. Those of us late to the party often get our hate-filled comments buried in the Salton Sea. Shitting on the client isn’t as satisfying when you’re not getting karma for it.”
The announcement for the MTG Area Steam launch provided the missing platform these angry denizens of the internet needed.
“One of the great things about Steam is the rich functionality of its game reviews. There’s a range of content there from memes to well thought out essays combing through every facet of a game. Once MTG Arena Steam releases, players will have clean slate to express just how much they hate the game they play religiously. I started a discord group devoted to helping others craft their reviews, so they are ready to go once Magic Arena goes live on Steam. Right now the main goal is obviously an ‘Overwhelmingly Negative’ review score but we realize that’s a bit of a stretch. I’d be happy with ‘Mixed’ or even a ‘Mostly Positive’.”
Programmers have joined in the effort to fool the safeguards Steam has in place to avoid the usual pitfalls of review sections.
“The issue is that Steam is very good about making reviews on their service unbiased. We can’t very well bum-rush the site with negativity like we do on reddit. There are notices to users about review bombings and grids that show the frequency of reviews. Not to worry though as we’re working around that. By scheduling our pissed off reviews throughout the month after launch we should avoid triggering the algorithms that detect attempts at review bombing. Additionally we’ve sent a team of envoys to the actual toxic wasteland redditors began frequenting to discuss the game.”
At time of press players were really pissed off that the MTG Arena Steam launch is forcing them to cut into their time playing the game they abhor in order to coordinate reviews about how much they hate the game.
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omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.
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