Massive Protests Outside EDH Rules Committee, Calls to Free Golos and Repeal Commander Tax

“Golos did nothing wrong! Taxation is THEFT!” Margery Wilson shouts into a megaphone. Her and her boyfriend Thad show up to the EDH Rules Committee Headquarters, along with hundreds of others to voice their concerns over the recent Golos ban. Additionally, there are calls to also repeal the Commander Tax.

Wilson, a 22 year old “student of life”, sits on a Styrofoam cooler attached to a rusty dolly with several bungie cords of various colors, lit cigarette in hand. “They know what they’re doing,” she says between drags. “And we know they’re scared. Scared of us.”

“Buy a shirt and support the cause,” her boyfriend Thad said between coughs. “They think they can just ban whoever they want and tax whoever they want. It’s bullshit. I ain’t payin’ no more. You want me to pay you can buy my shirts I spent all morning coming up with.”

We asked why Thad’s crappy shirts cost so much money, but he just pointed at the price and said “sixty-nine cents” and laughed before succumbing to another coughing fit. “Did you see the 2? It’s in the circle of the O like it is on the cards.”

“It was my idea, Thad don’t try and take credit for my good idea,” Margery said, interjecting.

“I didn’t say that. You didn’t even let me finish.”

It’s unclear whether or not today’s protests will have any sway on the committee’s decision, but we’re certain that it’s going to bring out the worst of everyone.


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