Man’s Resume Just a Single Page with the Word ‘Gruul’ On It

TAMPA, Fla. — Hiring Manager Milton Roberts was going through applications for an new position at his company when, reportedly, he came across a resume that was only one page with the word “Gruul” on it.

“I was intrigued,” said Roberts. “At first I thought it may have been a formatting error and the rest of the resume was on the following page. But no. This was it. One word to encompass a person’s entire professional life… I imagine most people would merely move on to the next applicant but, like I said, I was intrigued. I’d never seen this word before and wanted to know more about it.”

After reviewing that day’s applicants Roberts began searching for answers to his burning questions.

“Turns out it’s a term used in a card game to represent “green and red” so I guess this applicant was a fan of Christmas, which I am too. I go all out: Santa hat, beard… the works. You could say I felt a kinship already. But as I read more about what this represented: a group whose affiliation became a loose group of clans, outcasts who thrive on chaos and destruction of civilized ways of life… there was a lot to unpack here.”


Roberts went further and using the guise of setting up an interview contacted the applicant.

“We had a nice long chat,” said Roberts. “I went in thinking that this person not only had the confidence to send such a wildly unorthodox resume to a fortune 500 company, but did it in a way that impacted me personally and emotionally. To me, it showed that this person had the makings of an exemplary hire. Turns out it was a mistake and they must have typed over their existing Resume since they were “printing proxies” whatever that means.”

We followed up with this story a week after our interview with Roberts. Unfortunately we were unable to receive any updates. It turns out that Roberts, during his initial search of the term on the office internet, misspelled Gruul using two o’s instead of u’s which he also looked into, “very thoroughly.”

omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Leave a Reply