Man Rejected After Asking Blind Date to ‘Proliferate His Slime Counters’

The day before a blind date, Nate Mendoza, 24, decided to play some commander with friends. Unknown to each other, everyone in the pod had built a deck around Toxrill, The Corrosive – a powerful new legendary creature from Innistrad: Crimson Vow.

The all-Toxrill pod (colloquially known as a ‘bukake’) ushered in a litany of puns about … well, everyone getting slime counters on everything which, to say the least, devolved into juvenile banter surrounding exactly what you’d expect. This meant the night was full of laughter and good times were had by all.

Coming off the high of such an enjoyable night, Nate met his blind date at a local bistro for lunch. Things were progressing well, until inevitably, Mr. Mendoza broke the fundamental rule of first dates and began to talk. With the previous night’s game of commander fresh into his mind, he launched into what he thought was playful banter.

Unfortunately, Mr. Mendoza’s date, who is also an avid MTG player, completely understood what he meant when asked to “Proliferate his slime counters” which, to the surprise of no one, prompted his date to walk out immediately. As he sat looking at the bill he was planning on splitting, Mr. Mendoza began to giggle about Spitting Slug, thinking “they had to have known.”

They knew.

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