We received reports that an OnlyFans page for a user named “Arty Shovelhead” belonged to none other than the silver golem himself, Karn. Originally created by Urza as a temporal probe, Karn has found a new purpose: sexy nudes.
“Being a planeswalker has its perks,” Karn told us during a recent interview, “but with COVID slowly infecting every plane, it meant I was out of work for a while. It seemed harmless enough.”
It wasn’t long before word spread of Karn’s OnlyFans page, causing it to go viral.
“I just wish people would stop sharing them since it’s upsetting my subscribers,” Karn said. “Most people are happy to support me regardless, but it is kind of lame that they’re everywhere now. I’m planning on doing an OnlyFans exclusive hot tub stream for all my subscribers to hopefully make up for it.”
Not everyone agrees however. Joe Liason, a longtime MTG player had this to say. “You can’t expect someone like Karn to post pictures like that and not have everyone in the world looking. If he didn’t want them leaked he never should have taken them in the first place.”
Rather than give credence to the hackers, we’ve posted the censored versions of the leaked photos below since, because it’s Karn and his rock hard body, we know you’ll be wanting to see them. Warning: NSFW!
