The company who single-handedly rendered telephone calls from an unknown number useless is seeking new ways to reach you about your car’s vehicle warranty. Leaked card images revealed the next IP due for a Secret Lair treatment is none other than the Vehicle Warranty Service Department.
“With so many people not picking up their phone we were forced to find other things to ruin. Magic: The Gathering felt like the right choice. Our algorithms showed a large demographic of people we could frequently interrupt with this collaboration,” the recording of a feminine-sounding robot said.
We reached out to see what all the fuss is over vehicle warrantees anyway.
“People don’t realize that their vehicle’s warrantee is about to expire. I personally had an incident not too long ago that could have cost me a lot less money had my vehicle been covered by warrantee. I made it a personal mission to inform as many people I could about its importance, though most of the people people just hang up on me. Do I let that deter me? No sir. I’m like a hydra. Each time I am hung up on I schedule two more calls to that number.”
Despite claims that the Vehicle Warrantee Service Departments endeavors are philanthropic in nature, most people aren’t swayed.
“I decided, you know what, let’s do it. What’s the worst that could happen? Sure enough some Indian guy wanted me to pay for the warrantee in Google Play gift cards. When I said no, he transferred me to a recording of what sounded like a robot claiming to be the IRS who tried to threaten me into, again, buying Google Play gift cards.”
Set to release in 2023, this Superdrop will contain cards surround the ‘It’s a Scam’ theme, so the drop will only be released as foils, and will include basic lands at $50 for 5 in a single color. Additionally, it will require you to verify your social security number, name and address.
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omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.
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