Card From New Set Turns Out to Be Real Magick Spell, Summons Instagram Influencer

EIGHTY FOUR, PA —Brian Fireau was shocked to find that one of the cards in his newly built deck was not only a good MTG card, but a real Magick spell. During a game of kitchen table with his younger brother, Brian cast the spell but had no what would follow.

“So, after I tapped and played the card I heard camera sounds coming from the living room. Red glowing lines formed a pentagram on the carpet and in the center was this woman. She was pointing her phone at herself, maybe taking a selfie.”

Confused, Brian and his brother questioned what the young woman was doing in their house and asked where the pentagram came from. “She laughed and said I had summoned her by casting a spell. She told me to hang on and then started up a live stream but quickly turned it off. She wasn’t too happy that I hadn’t intentionally summoned her.”

“Yeah, she got all pissy, asking us we knew who we were dealing with,” Brian’s brother Ed told us. “In the end, it turns out all she wanted was our souls. I mean, we’re not really using them, so we thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask what she wanted for it. She said that she has 100k followers and would make us go viral.”

We asked Brian if he ended up making a deal.

“Hell no. Maybe if she had offered to make us rich, or a rockstar, or a King or something, then we might have had a deal. What are we supposed to do with internet cred? Sell our souls to turn us into a meme? How is that not the worst deal ever? Anyway, we tried to get her to leave, but she wanted free food and a place to sleep. When we refused she said she’d leave a bad review so all of her followers could read it.”

“I thought summoning a demon spawn would be a bit . . . you know, cooler?” Ed told us. “We ripped up that Magic card as soon as her Uber came to pick her up.”

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