Announcements from Wizards of the Coast are no stranger to controversy. Recently it was disclosed that Transformer cards will be in an official expansion. Boosters of illegal cards will be sold for $250 per pack and un-sets are now constructed-legal for … reasons. Wizards of the Coast wants players going into Money 30 Magic 30Continue reading “Amid Controversy, Wizards of the Coast Urges Players Remember the Spirit of Magic 30: 50% More Profit”
Author Archives: orangewookietime
Wizards of the Coast Announces the End of Cardboard, Will Start Printing New Cards Exclusively on Meat (Fine Whatever, and an Impossible Meat Vegan Option)
RENTON, Wash. — Wizards of the Coast announced a new initiative to cut down on the amount of paper it processes. They released details on the impact its products have on the environment, prompting a reevaluation of its printing process. As a result, Magic: The Gathering cards will be printed exclusively on meat starting inContinue reading “Wizards of the Coast Announces the End of Cardboard, Will Start Printing New Cards Exclusively on Meat (Fine Whatever, and an Impossible Meat Vegan Option)”
Netdecker Caught Typing Blind Date’s Questions into Google
STOCKTON, Ca. — Notorious netdecker Chad Johnson was on a blind date with a friend of a friend Thursday. During which, he was caught typing his date’s questions into a Google search to provide an optimal answer. “The last time I went on a blind date I couldn’t get Magic Arena’s rope timer to stopContinue reading “Netdecker Caught Typing Blind Date’s Questions into Google”
Wizards of the Coast Announces 4 Booster Packs of Illegal Cards for $1000 at Magic30, Cornering the MTG Satire Market
Wizards of the Coast announced a commemorative product available at Magic30 full of cards that aren’t legal to use in the game for the low price of $1000 for four packs, or roughly $250 per pack. In response to the announcement, Pauper Jumpstart, the publication that usually produces satire for Magic: The Gathering has decidedContinue reading “Wizards of the Coast Announces 4 Booster Packs of Illegal Cards for $1000 at Magic30, Cornering the MTG Satire Market”
Local Man Who ‘Quit Magic: The Gathering Forever’ Spotted at Friday Night Magic
BURBANK, Ca. —A recent press release from Wizards of the Coast announced some decisions. As a result, Kyle Gaunt announced his retirement from Magic: The Gathering. Gaunt was later spotted entrenched in a game at Friday Night Magic two weeks after his highly publicized departure. “I’ve had enough,” Kyle stated in his lengthy reddit post.Continue reading “Local Man Who ‘Quit Magic: The Gathering Forever’ Spotted at Friday Night Magic”
Oops, Grabbed the Wrong Deck Box: This One’s Full of Skittles
As any person with an unhealthy amount of Magic: The Gathering cards knows, there’s a point where the variety of deck boxes is eclipsed by the number of decks in your collection. At this point, keeping track what each deck box holds becomes important. While the are many ways to indicate this information on multiplesContinue reading “Oops, Grabbed the Wrong Deck Box: This One’s Full of Skittles”
Rumor: Next Unset Will Probably Give Everyone Pink Eye
With Wizards of the Coast’s penchant for perpetually releasing product coupled with the new black border, constructed legal nature of UN-sets, the chances of the next unset being close to release lies somewhere between likely to certain. Further, if the rumors are to be believed, the follow-up to Unfinity is a lot closer than youContinue reading “Rumor: Next Unset Will Probably Give Everyone Pink Eye”
Yeah, I’m a cEDH Player, as Long as the C Stands for Chumbawamba
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Local Commander player Izabelle Zimmerman clarified today that the assumption she’s a competitive commander player is incorrect. Though she lists cEDH as her preferred format on her various social media profiles, she would like everyone to know this a reference to her being a Chumbawamba EDH player. “Fuck competitive commander. I couldContinue reading “Yeah, I’m a cEDH Player, as Long as the C Stands for Chumbawamba”
Pro Tip: Looped Ad Showing Abandoned Animals Set to Sad Music is Technically a Win-Con
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local Modern player Kaeden Hough has found one of, if not the most unusual win conditions in the history of Magic: The Gathering. By setting up a looped ad showing abandoned animals set to music that’s sad as fuck, he’s able to drive almost every opponent away from the game, resultingContinue reading “Pro Tip: Looped Ad Showing Abandoned Animals Set to Sad Music is Technically a Win-Con”
Wizards of the Coast Unsure How to Lower Cost of International Shipping for Secret Lair as “They’re Already Flying Coach”
PORTLAND, Ore. — Wizards of the Coast addressed fan’s concerns today regarding high international shipping costs for Secret Lairs. After researching the issue, it was concluded that there is no way to reduce the cost as “They are already flying coach.” “We want our fans to be able to obtain Secret Lairs at a reasonableContinue reading “Wizards of the Coast Unsure How to Lower Cost of International Shipping for Secret Lair as “They’re Already Flying Coach””