Author Archives: orangewookietime

Sources close to the company reported that Wizards of the Coast executives were visited by the ghosts of Beanie Babies past, present, and future. “First, a gigantic translucent blue stuffed owl came to me in the middle of the night,” said WotC executive Milly Nielson. “Suddenly it was day, and I was staring at aContinue reading “Wizards of the Coast Visited by the Ghosts of Beanie Babies Past, Present, and Future”

MTG Arena Commander requests hit a milestone today after the number of people begging for the popular format on the free-to-play client exceeded the number of registered voters in that same age group and demographic. “We’ve been campaigning for MTG Arena Commander since the launch of the client. Working tirelessly to lobby Wizards of theContinue reading “MTG Arena Commander Requests Now Exceed Number of Registered Voters (Also, Go Vote!)”

MTG Online has decided to take matters into their own hands by using their big boy voice to scold people for hacking their user’s accounts, sources who’ve never heard of 2FA have confirmed. “I mean, getting into other people’s accounts wasn’t hard. The game actually provides everyone’s login name as public information. All you haveContinue reading “MTG Online Uses Big Boy Voice to Stop People from Hacking Accounts”

When the MTG Arena Steam launch was announced fans of the F2P digital client rejoiced. A brand-new platform will soon be available for players to inundate with negative reviews and toxic comments about their favorite game. “Unfortunately, we’ve reached peak salt on the subreddit, r/magicarena. Those of us who can’t go for more than aContinue reading “MTG Arena Steam Launch has Angry Reviewers Excited”

Dry erase tokens serve as a fun way to represent any token you’d need in Magic: The Gathering. They’re useful, versatile, and allow the player a bit of fun and creativity. That may all change due to an emerging trend among TCG players; burning tokens into slices of bread with a butane torch. “I loveContinue reading “Move Over Dry Erase Tokens, Tokens Burned into Slices of Bread are Taking Over”

You and your friends may have a had a nice hearty laugh at my expense after claiming I have “no life”. Yet here I am keeping track of it in my notebook. Curious. Though my response may have led to even more laughter, I am going to assume it’s because your point has been refutedContinue reading “Opinion: You Say I Have No Life. Then What am I Tracking in This Notebook?”

MADISON, Wis. — A local pod’s pre-game rule 0 discussion has completed, thoroughly outlining the procedure for the groups shared egg salad, sources grossed out by eggs mixed with mayonnaise confirmed. “Our weekly Commander get-togethers have been a lot better since we started taking turns brining a dish for the group to share,” said staxContinue reading “Rule 0 Discussion Thoroughly Outlines Procedure for Pod’s Communal Egg Salad”

Basic lands are fundamental game pieces needed by almost any deck in every format. Though mechanically simple, the value of these game pieces can range from being worth less than the cardboard they’re printed on to hundreds of dollars each. Released in every expansion and other special products, there are a seemingly endless number ofContinue reading “Red Flag: He Chose to Use That Basic Land? Run, Girl”

RENTON, Wash. — Wizards of the Coast announced they are in the planning stages of their next big event. Magic 31 is rumored to be taking place on everyone’s favorite socioeconomical locomotive, Snowpiercer. “We’re constructing a brand-new perpetual locomotive using some of the cash we milked from players at Magic 30. The rest is goingContinue reading “Wizards of the Coast Confirms Magic 31 Will Take Place on Snowpiercer”

Deck building can be a lot of fun. Coming up with a gameplan, then building a deck to execute that plan is almost a game in itself. Running different iterations, testing and re-testing, building mana bases… it’s an arduous process. This is why many people take to the internet to find existing, or proven deckContinue reading “YouTube Video About Deck List Not Gonna Play the Deck”