Local Man Ends Up Having a Delightful Time After Misheard Invitation for a Night of Cum-Hander

GLENDALE, Ariz. — Having a group of friends over to play some cards is just one of the many reasons why the game of commander has become the de facto way to enjoy Magic: The Gathering. Like a “Poker Night”, commander allows a group of four (or sometimes more) individuals to enjoy a game they all love together. Local man Jamal Stephens thought he was attending such a night when he misheard the invitation for a night of playing “cum-hander.”

“I didn’t know the playgroup very well, though it’s one of the things I love about the game, meeting new people. It’s a bit sketchier when you’re meeting at someone’s house instead of a local game store, but I’ve never really had a problem with it. I should have known something was off when I said I’d bring my decks and the person that invited me asked if they were silicone or glass. I I’d never heard of a silicone or glass deck box but figured it might have been a DIY project or something.”

Stephens arrived at the residence of Killian Snow around 8:00 PM on the designated Friday evening.

“I’m really not going to go into a lot of detail about what was going on there that night, but it sure wasn’t commander. At first, I was kind of shocked, and thought I had the wrong address, but Killian welcomed me as soon as I got there. It really wasn’t my thing, but I was already there and I’m fairly open to new experiences, so I gave it a whirl.”

In the end, Stephens’s open-mindedness paid off.

“I had a blast. Quite a few to be literal. Not only did discover a lot about myself, but I made new friends in the process. Additionally, I was able to teach a few others how to play the actual game of commander during our refractory periods since I brought several decks with me. It’s a good thing they were double-sleeved.”

It’s been reported that the night of cum-hander commander was such a hit that Snow is planning on making it a regular hybrid event, though recommends that people show up with decks at the pre-con or pauper EDH level, not because of the experience level of attendees, but for the risks involved with cardboard around so many fluids.

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