Guy with Entire Deck of Signed Cards Not Really Sure Who Signed Them

NORFOLK, Va. — Local office drone Sufyan Diaz decided to “bling” out one of his favorite Pioneer decks. He went online and managed to find signed copies of every single card in his deck. While showing off his new pride and joy, one of Diaz’s friends inquired who signed them, revealing the fact that he wasn’t really sure.

“I didn’t really think about checking who the signature was from,” said Diaz. “I just kept an eye out for signed copies of cards in my deck list for sale. I figured if someone was selling cards for as much as I paid, they would be signed by someone important. Maybe the artist for the card or one of the designers from WotC? Hell, even a pro who loves the card.”

Jules Russo, one of Diaz’s closest friends who saw the cards wasn’t too sure.

“I became worried when there were only three distinct signatures between all 75 cards. Basic lands too. Unless you’re getting them all signed by someone really important, there’s no reason why so many different cards from so many different sets should all have the same exact signature. In fact one of them wasn’t even a Magic card, but an old laminated blockbuster card with “Ponder” written at the top. Another was a card hole-punched halfway to a free small cup of yogurt at Pinkberry. He was getting kind of worked up about it, I guess Sufyan spent a decent amount of money on that deck, so I went with him to get the signatures examined by a professional.”

Russo and Diaz took the cards to a reputable document and signature analyst.

“I examined the cards and took scans of all the various signatures located on the card. We then digitally transfer the signature and cross-reference into our database of known, notable signatures to see if we can find a match. Then once a match is found we can verify if the signatures are real or forgeries. Good news is none of the signatures on Mr. Diaz’s cards were forgeries.”

The signatures on Diaz’s cards were from three people: an individual known as “Stank Nasty”, someone who signs their name as “Shwarsh” and, a child who got ahold of their parent’s cards while wielding a crayon.

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omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

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