Reddit Post of Mammoth Commander Deck Collection Clearly a Cry for Help

LEWES, Del. — One could argue the true game of EDH isn’t playing the actual game, but rather building and maintaining a commander deck collection. While many fans of commander end up with several decks in their collection, Randall Crawford has outdone himself. He recently posted information about his mammoth-sized commander deck collection. Rather than admiration, commentors pointed out Crawford was clearly crying for help.

“Check it out guys,” Crawford wrote in his essay along with several dozen photographs of his collection. “I update them all as new sets come out, so these are always current and play optimally. Now that Wizards of the Coast releases new cards weekly I find myself with a deck or fifty to update on a daily basis. You can imagine I’m ordering a lot of cards. I’m not sure why my mail carrier keeps asking if I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m going to be sleeving cards for the next five hours then go to bed and wake up to do it some more tomorrow. It’s a uh, dream.”

A few downvoted comments called into question the amount of excess going into Crawford’s collection, citing that there is such a thing as too many decks.

“You know what he never mentioned?” Reddit user Illiterateprotein commented. “Actually playing the game. At first I thought he must have a whole bunch of people coming over to play regularly but if you look at his posts, he only talks about updating the decks. Not even a year ago he vowed to ‘try out the format at some point.'”

Crawford however maintains that he is happy in his decisions and his subconscious isn’t using the social media platform as a way for him to admit he has a problem.

Please don’t think I am here for anything other than participating in this great community. Make sure you follow me on Twitter for all my deck updates. It makes me happy to hear people’s comments on my work. Stop thinking there’s more happening here. Help isn’t needed. Me.”

Last we spoke with Crawford he was laughing maniacally how Dominaria United is rumored to come with a legendary creature in every single pack, meaning there are so many more decks to build.

Read a bunch more Pauper Jumpstart articles.


USE THE CODE HOLIDAY15 for 15% off!
Shop at the Official Jerk Store

Become a Pauper Jumpstart Patron because we like money. Yours specifically. Yes, you. Come on, you breathed out of your nose and said “that’s funny” at least once.

Check out our comics!

omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, I will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and finalize a purchase.

Leave a Reply