A breaking story about a local sewer clown offering to sell mint copies of the coveted Magic: The Gathering cards known as the power nine is currently unfolding. We sent our new intern with a blank check to buy them. He should be back any minute now.
“You know, the rest of the office said we should be wary of someone offering highly coveted items for such a low price. The fact that this individual lives in a sewer is probably why everyone is worried. Unlike them I support the homeless. With housing prices so high it’s not surprising to want to quickly offload something pricey like a set of power nine. They’re probably just tired of living in the sewer.”
Reports state that HR was not at all happy with the call.
“I think they’re ignoring the fact that this is literally a clown that lives in a sewer. Do you have any idea the amount of paperwork I’m going to have to do when that intern never comes back? I kept telling management not to send him, but that poor kid kept reassuring everyone that he would be fine. Not to mention it’s raining so hard I’m not even leaving for lunch, but the intern said ‘I’ve got my yellow rain jacket. I’m fine’.”
Despite the many warnings, management has assured everyone there’s nothing to worry about.
“When opportunity knocks, you answer. Yeah, it’s kind of weird that it’s a clown in a sewer but let me ask you this. Is a clown living in a sewer weird for a Magic: The Gathering enthusiast? Let’s be honest here… not really. As soon as the intern gets back, I’m buying him lunch which, now that I’m thinking about it, should have been a couple hours ago. I bet he’s just getting the best price. Kid’s a real go-getter.”
At time of press no one has seen, nor heard from former intern James Pilsner who left to go see meet the sewer clown several days ago. Reports said that a bunch of people in the office decided to head to the sewer to search for him but ended up having an off-the-clock orgy thinking it would help for whatever reason.
omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.
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