How to Tell if She’s Into You, Or Just Talking To You Because You Were Paired This Round

eager guy staring at girl inside office

It’s hard to tell these days when to “shoot your shot” – is she flirting? Or just smiling because–unlike the slow loris that can coat itself in poison–she doesn’t have a natural defense mechanism so it’s the next best thing. How can one tell the difference? We’re no relationship experts, but we do know maybe like, three and a half things about women…

She wants to know your name.

Could it be that she’s wanting to know the name that will appear next to hers on your wedding invitations? Maybe, but probably not. Unless you’d like to be called “opponent” for the next forty-five minutes, chances are she’s going to ask what you’d like to be called. And no, this wasn’t an invitation for a follow up question about her relationship status, “just in case.”

High roll?

We have no idea how anyone would take this as anything other than determining who chooses to go first, though we feel the need to be thorough. If she wants to use your dice, it’s probably because they’re already accessible, or perhaps she didn’t bring any of her own. Also, that motion she’s making with the dice in her hand isn’t flirtatious, or suggestive of what you’re thinking, sick fuck.

Good luck!

WITH. THE. GAME. The game you both paid money to play. Not “good luck” with winning her over. Not “good luck” with any planned attempts to make overly suggestive pickup lines you read on r/tinder. There aren’t many game stores around here and chances are being banned might put a damper on your future MTG plans.

She won.

We get it, you’re into strong women and curbstomping your deck in a decisive 2-0 win has you all hot and bothered. Well at least you’re not the douchebags who get all nasty and cause a scene because their fragile masculinity has been shattered. Is there time left in the round? Ask if she’s into a friendly. Ask if she has any other decks she’s wanting to test. Or just talk about the game.

She asked if you want to come back to her place and put that big deck of yours to use.

Obviously, this is nothing more than a request for a game of commander, so get your head out of the gutter. Additionally, it’s probably wise to bring one or two friends along with you since, let’s be honest here, 1v1 commander isn’t that fun.

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omg. dry erase cards. Of all the dry erase cards these are the driest. “How dry are they?” As dry as my wife after hearing me talk about how great MTG is. Sahara dry.

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