Wizards of the Coast Adds a New 13th Month, Colossal Dreadmawber, To Calendar to Release More Products

There never seems to be enough time and Wizards of the Coast was able to solve that problem. Their calendar was packed with more product releases than there were days in the year so rather than scaling back production, Wizards of the Coast has announced they are adding an additional month to the calendar year and they’re calling it Colossal Dreadmawber.

“Papa Hasbro wasn’t happy when we asked to scale back production so that we could have more time to market releases, since right now we’re trying to get players excited for five releases at the same time,” spokeshomunculus TOECLAWS! said in a statement.

There was only one way around the issue, and it wasn’t exactly the outcome Wizards of the Coast expected.

“The conversation was at a stalemate,” TOECLAWS! went on, “since they were wanting us to release even more product. That’s when someone sarcastically mentioned they’d need to make more time in a year to do what they want.”

As it turns out that is exactly what Hasbro intended on doing.

“That’s when the conversation turned to exactly that – creating more time. At least, that’s what they wanted us to do. Of course, we protested saying that adding another month wasn’t something we’d be able to accomplish. To which they basically said ‘you’ve convinced people to spend $60 on 15 cardboard cards. This will be easy.’ And I guess they were right.”

Starting in 2023, Colossal Dreadmawber will start right on New Year’s Eve, thus making the celebration an entire month long. The fact that this meant a month off of work for most people, except restaurant workers and retail employees (because fuck them in particular) made this an easy sell for Wizards.



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